Benzo Tapering and Withdrawals 5
I almost didn’t post anything today because it’s been such a hard day because of withdrawals. I haven’t slept well in a long time and that adds up, but last night I hardly slept at all. It was like the proverbial straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back I guess. I haven’t been able to think straight, lots of gastrointestinal issues today, anxiety, the list goes on. I tried to take a nap twice but even as exhausted and sleep deprived as I am I couldn’t fall asleep. I don’t understand that at all. It doesn’t make any sense. I should be able to fall asleep sitting up as tired as I am but I just can’t. My mind is racing. Heart palpitations are another problem, so are very tense muscles. When I’d grip something my hand wouldn’t return to normal even after I let it go.
I seriously thought about reinstating today, as in going back up on klonopin. I’m still thinking about it. I know it would be a terrible, terrible mistake but I really need some relief. This is becoming intolerable. The anxiety is there even on the good days I used to have but with all this sleep deprivation it’s intense. I must have fallen asleep at some point last night because I woke up in the middle of the night with a nocturnal panic attack. At least I think it was a nocturnal panic attack. I had intense butterflies sensation in my abdomen, my muscles tense, felt like I couldn’t get enough air, and just a sense of panic. After trying to calm myself down from that I couldn’t go back to sleep. So, this is going to be a short post. This is all I can do. Oh, I forgot to mention dizziness. The dizziness is awful. This has been a bad day. I hope yours has been better.
Thanks for reading.