Benzo Taper and Withdrawals 4
I mentioned that I would also be writing about day to day experiences with withdrawals. Yesterday was a really good example because after I posted yesterday things went south rapidly. Yesterday was a very hard day. Anxiety went through the roof after I posted. Terrible muscle tension that caused sore and painful muscles, especially in my upper body. Tension induced headache, stress induced nausea, and some dizziness that I don’t know what caused it. It all hit so suddenly. I didn’t sleep well at all because of it all, so I’m hoping that today doesn’t repeat yesterday because of sleep deprivation.
There have been many times where I have considered going back up in dosage. Not to my original dose, but just higher than now. I’m afraid to though, because if I do then I will have backslid and it will only set me back. It would probably provide relief temporarily but it wouldn’t be worth it in the long run because I’d have to taper back down again and that would set me up of kindling which I’ll write about in another post. So, I keep pushing through even though it is a miserable experience.
I don’t mean to sound depressing or doom and gloom, I just promised to be honest about my experiences during taper and withdrawal. I wouldn’t keep pushing through if I didn’t think there was hope for a better future without benzodiazepines. I believe that there is hope and that my body and brain can heal from the damage done by benzos. So, while I am being honest about how difficult it is to get free of benzodiazepines, please don’t lose hope while reading about my experiences. I have good days too! Today, so far at least, is one of those good days.
It’s a beautiful day here in the mountains of New Mexico, I have my family, I have food to eat, a place to sleep and a roof over my head. And while I do have diabetes and am experiencing withdrawal symptoms, I know that there are others who are having a far more difficult go of it than I am. I try to keep things in perspective as much as I can.
I will keep writing, please feel free to leave a comment or ask questions.
Thanks for reading!