Benzo Tapering and Withdrawal Part 2
As I mentioned in my first post about tapering off benzodiazepines, I was prescribed them for the intense anxiety stemming from PTSD. I wasn’t warned about their addictive properties. I wasn’t warned about the danger of coming off them. I wasn’t informed about their effects on memory. In short, I wasn’t warned or informed about any of their dangers or side effects. Now, over 20 years later, I’m almost free of them. Almost free of them in no way means close to free of them. The lower you get on dosage during tapering, the slower you need to go. Even going very slowly at my current stage of tapering it is extremely difficult. The effects of withdrawal and detoxing are terrible. Here are just a few of the effects of tapering, withdrawals, and detoxing that I am experiencing:
- Vivid, sometimes terrifying, dreams
- Depersonalization
- Derealization
- Very uncomfortable gastrointestinal disturbances
- Intermittent insomnia
- Intense anxiety
- Depression
- Muscle tension and pain
- Vision disturbances
- Increased tinnitus
- Blood pressure spikes
- High blood sugar levels
- Periods of intense anger, sometimes rage
- Muscle twitches
- Random and weird periods of numbness in various areas
The list is not complete, just some of the more pronounced symptoms. Another symptom that is particularly scary is heart palpitations. Those are scary. Several times I have been close to calling 911 or running to an ER but then they will go away as suddenly as they came. I am lucky to have a good doctor who is not rushing me during my taper process. In fact, he has told me to slow down. I didn’t want to at first but now I’m glad I have. It’s important to go slowly, but it is vitally important to go very, very slowly at the very low doses. It’s tempting to just jump off/quit the drug completely when you are so close but, at least in my case, that is not wise. Why put your brain, body, and CNS through unnecessary pain and damage if you aren’t being rushed? Technically, I could jump off the drug now. But, I know that if I do, the symptoms I’m already experiencing would only intensify and I’m struggling as it is.
I have a very supportive family, and they are very encouraging and proud of the progress I have made. I know I could not do this without them. Even some of my extended family have been very supportive and encouraging. It would be so nice to just be able to tell them I’m free of the drug, but I can’t do that yet. I’m not ready.
If you are being rushed by your doctor, I would advise having a serious discussion with them. Be very clear about what you are experiencing and your concerns. If you haven’t been abusing the drug and your refill history is perfect, remind them of that fact. If they won’t cooperate then perhaps look into a detox center if you can afford it. I should mention that you should be aware of any particular center’s procedures. From what I understand, such centers taper you much too rapidly and tend to use other drugs in their rapid taper process. The only upside to this is, if you are an inpatient, you will have around the clock access to medical professionals who can deal with things like spikes in blood pressure, palpitations, and other such things.
Please keep coming back as I will continue writing about this. Also, please feel free to leave feedback. Thanks for reading!